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Every day, I hear people say stupid things. Often, they find their way into print as well. Here are many of them. If you know of one, please pass it on to me and I may add it. I’ll give you credit for it if I do.





Dumb word or phrase
Correct version
Why
administrate administer There is a word “taxation,” but we do not call the verb “taxate.” It’s “tax.” The fact that there is a noun “orientation” does not mean the verb is “orientate.” It’s “orient.” Please ceasate doing this.
adverse averse Adverse is a good word. It means oppposite or contrary to your interests. What is wrong is to say, “I am not adverse to...” For that phrase, you use the word “averse” which means set against.
athleticism athletic ability the suffix “ism” generally refers to a belief system like atheism or Communism, a condition like alcoholism, or a behavior pattern like heroism or colonialism; all three of these categories of “isms” involve behavioral choices made by a person or group of people; none refer to natural ability or any other inherent characteristics; there is no word where the suffix “ism” means “ability” or an extraordinary presence of its root prefix, in this case, the word “athlete;” what the guy who coined the word athleticism was searching for was “athleticity;” “icity“ or “ity” are suffixes designed to convert an adjective into a noun like “ethnic” to “ethnicity” or “elastic” to “elasticity;” not that I’m pushing for the word “athleticity;” like “athleticism,” it has five syllables; I recommend we stick with “athletic ability” in spite of its seven-syllable length, although I would welcome an intelligent, shorter word for it; for those who claim football people are illiterate morons, the use of the word “athleticism” is further evidence they might be right
canary in the minefield canary in the coal mine CO2, carbon monoxide, or methane can build up in mines and wine cellers. The canary dies faster than humans from lack of oxygen, stops singing, thereby telling the humans to get out. To the best of my knowledge, no canary has ever set off a mine or indicated the presence of mines.
commentate comment The fact that there is a noun “commentator” does not mean there is also a verb “commentate” or “commentating.” “Commenter” is a real word. If we start using that instead of the convoluted “commentator,” this problem will go away.
complement compliment When you want to say sommething nice about something or someone
compliment complement When you mean to complete another thing or person
constraint limit “Constraint” is an affectation of Harvard Business School grads, of which I am one, but I do not use that word.
conversate converse Just because the noun is conversation does not mean you get the verb by eliminating the ion.
derisive pronounced as if the second syllable were rihs dee•rice•ihv Obama started this nonsense as one of his faux intellectual isms; I refer doubters to the dictionary where the correct pronounciation is explained
divisive pronounced as if the second syllable were vihs dee•vise•ihv Obama started this nonsense as one of his faux intellectual isms; on 2/3/10, I saw a Fox TV reporter, of all people, pronounce the word as Obama does; I refer doubters to the dictionary where the correct pronounciation is explained
dolly hand truck A dolly is a flat square with four wheels on the bottom. It is used to move heavy objects that have few places to grab like sofas. The two-wheeled device you use to move tall objects like refirgerators and heavy stacks of cartons is called a hand truck.
Don’t cash your chickens before they hatch. Don’t count your chickens before they hatch. Banks do not cash chickens. Some eggs contain stillborn chicks.
dependency dependence “Dependency” is big with politicians talking about our dependence on foreign oil. See my article on why energy independence is not really a sensible goal.
duck tape duct tape It’s used on air ducts to cover holes and gaps. No poultry involved. A reader informs me that there is an article on the Web at http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-duc4.htm which says there is some evidence that duck tape is correct, although the author of the article agrees with me that the phrase “duck tape” is more likely a malapropism that some manfucturers may subsequently have decided to go with in order to cater to the moron market segment. It would not be the first time the morons have outvoted the intelligent in language. The brand name “Frigidaire” lost a court case because they failed to defend the word vigorously enough such that a federal court said it had become generic for refrigerator. “Athleticism” is another word where the morons appear to have won. See my discussion of that at my football terminology dictionary.
ensure insure Webster’s defines “ensure” as “same as insure,” but many pedants say that ensure is the only correct word for certain situations. It is not.
Brett Favre’s last name pronounced as if it were “Farve” It’s French—Cajun actually. It’s supposed to be pronounced “Fah-ver” and was by the Commissioner of the NFL when Favre was drafted. Apparently this happened because football fans and sportscasters are a bunch of illiterate morons. I note that it is now politically correct to do the opposite with Latino words. We’re supposed to pronounced them as if we were natives of Nicaragua. See my article on that nonsense inspired by my attendance at my son’s graduation from UC Santa Barbara.
foreign words and phrases American English except in rare circumstances An American should not use a foreign word or phrase when speaking English unless two things are true: 1. the intended audience fully understands the meaning of the foreign word or phrase in question and 2. there is no equivalent American word or phrase. An example of a word that fits #2 but probably not #1 is the German word Gemütlichkeit. Volkswagen used that word in their U.S. ads for a while. Because it did not comply with Rule #1, I thought that was a mistake on their part. A foreign phrase which I think does satisfy both rules is the French “Vive la difference.” The literal translation is accurate: Long live the difference [between men and women]. It is an old Frenchman’s toast. But, in Amercian use, the French version carries far more rhetorical punch than “Long live the difference,” perhaps because of the romantic connotations of the French language in general and its mellifluousness. And Americans generally exactly know what “Vive la difference” means. The worst example I’ve heard of the substitution of a foreign word or phrase for an American one came from one of my Harvard Business School classmates, who had graduated from Harvard College as well. He used the French word “ambiance,” pronounced as it is pronounced in French and helpfully defined it for me, a West Point graduate whom he assumed did not know the meaning. The problem is American English also has the word “ambience” which means the exact same thing but is pronounced like the related word “ambient.” This particular use of a foreign word by my double-Harvard classmate was nothing put putting on airs, an affectation.
guarantee-er guarantor I heard lawyer Greta Van Sustern say this on Fox News.
head over heels heels over head? upside down Head over heels is the normal position of a sittting or standing human being. The phrase is used to convey an image of an unusual position.
pronouncing “height” as if it ended with an h The correct pronounciation rhymes with tight or might Look it up in the dictionary. There is no h at the end, never was, and the dictionary pronounciation is 100% like tight, not tithe, not Smythe.
I could care less I could not care less Saying you could not care less means you do not care at all about the matter in question, which is what the speaker intended. Saying you could care less means you currently care a lot about the matter in question, which is the opposite of what the speaker intends.
“impact” used as a verb affect bureaucratspeak
incent motivate Aaagh!
incidences instances They mean the same but you don’t use four syllables to say what three will convey.
ironical ironic from magician Dick Steiner
irregardless regardless from magician Dick Steiner
jive as in “that does not jive” jibe jive is a noun meaning jazz slang or B.S.; jibe is a verb meaning to match up
Macy’s Day Parade Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade The Today Show’s Willard Scott used to make this mistake, and he was probably grand marshall of the parade on ocasion. This is akin to the childish refusal to say all the syllables in social security.
mute point moot point mute means silent; moot, already decided
next store next door It could be next store in a shopping district. This stupidity can only be detected in print.
non-trivial significant “Non-trivial” is an affectation of Stanford graduates. Don’t ask me why.
noun turned into a verb There is always already a verb available for the purpose in question.

The first time I heard one of these was a bureaucrat saying something as going to “impact” people. Why didn’t he say “affect?”

Others I have since heard include “resource” and “architect.” Dilbert cartoonist Scott Adams frequently makes fun of this sort of nonsense.
nuclear pronounced as “nuke you lar” (by President George W. Bush among others) nuke clee ar Pronounce it the way it’s spelled; not the way huge numbers of people do
orientate orient The fact that orientation is the noun does not mean that orientate is the verb. There is no such word as orientate.
pivot

strategy change; if you want to use metaphor, “course correction” is good

In January, 2010, the head journalist apparently decreed that henceforth all journalists will use the word “pivot” to refer to a change in political strategy. Overnight, they all did. Other than the comical herd behavior of journalists regarding the word, the only other problem is its definition. A pivot is an object or location around which another object or person revolves. It is akin to the fulcrum of a lever.

Who is this head journalist who has this power?
podium lectern podium is the elevated platform upon which a speaker stands. Lectern is the thing they stand behind.
populism demagoguery, class warfare, business baiting demagoguery is appealing to ignorant voters by using falacious facts and/or logic that ignorant voters are unable to see through as well as emotion and prejudice; populism is a euphemism or spin to make demagoguery sound better. The head journalist has apparently also decreed that Hitler-versus-Jews-like scapegoating of business and Wall Street will henceforth be called populism.
predatorying preying Rush Limbaugh said this one in March 2010. Stop and think a moment, folks. Generally, the word you seek has already been invented and is in your memory banks.
preventative preventive diarhea of the mouth
principal principle (or vice versa) “al” is a person or debt amount or an adjective for main; “le,” a fundamental truth
pronouncing Realtor as if it were a three-syllable word, i.e., reel a tor Realtor should be pronounced “reel tor” Pronounce it the way it’s spelled; not the way huge numbers of people do, including many Realtors themselves
skewered skewed I heard a person on the radio say Gwen Ifill was “skewered to the left.” Skewed means biased. A skewer is a pointed rod used for cooking kabobs.
various garbled pronounciations like “sosal” secuity or Chris Matthews’ version which sounds like “soshecurity” social security

It is not my fault that it’s six syllables or that no one has come up with an abbreviation (SS is taken)

Chris Matthews and I are both from the Philadelphia area. We have both been in electronic media. I was a top-40 DJ in college. The difference is the first time I heard a tape of my program in college, I was horrified by my Philadelphia accent and got rid of it. Matthews is not only dumb enough to say things like Obama sent a thrill up his leg, he is also dumb enough to say everything in a heavy Philadelphia accent which distracts liteners from his message.
supposably supposedly There is such a word as opposable, as in thumbs, but my rhyming dictionary has no other words ending in osable
try and do something try to do something self-explanatory
next store next door I know they sound the same but unless you are a store, “next store” is a malapropism. And no, we don’t get French benefits either.
pronouncing “strength” as if it had no letter g in it pronounce the g This is common in my native Philadelphia area. Chris Matthews is from there and he pronounces it wrong.
track housing tract housing Tracks are for trains and runners.
unequivocably unequivocally able refers to ability; the word describes the lack of equivocation in a statement or action
“water under the dam” or “water over the bridge” over the dam, under the bridge On 2/19/08, Dick Morris described Michelle Obama’s “proud of my country” statement as water under the dam—Obama’d better hope that’s not literally correct—water under the dam causes the dam to collapse and massive water loss

John T. Reed